FAQ
❓What is this place?
Uncle Sam’s Shirts. We make original, slightly unhinged t-shirts. Everything’s made to order, so your shirt doesn’t exist until you click "buy."
🕒 When will I get my shirt?
Usually within a week or two. Each one is printed when you order, which takes a few days. Then shipping adds a few more. Please don’t panic.
📏 What if I order the wrong size?
Then you’ll own a shirt that doesn’t fit. We don’t do returns or exchanges unless something’s actually wrong with the print. Someone will love that shirt, just maybe not you.
💀 Can I return my shirt because I had a spiritual awakening and no longer vibe with it?
No. We only accept returns if your item is defective. If you suddenly stop vibing with Bigfoot or cats that smoke, that’s between you and your therapist.
🔥 Will people stop me to ask about my shirt?
Almost definitely. Please be prepared to explain why Martha Washington is riding a T-Rex.
📬 Something arrived damaged. Now what?
Email us within 30 days with a photo and your order number. We’ll reprint it or refund you. We’re not monsters.
📍 Do you ship outside the U.S.?
Nope. Just U.S. for now. International shipping is chaos and we’re not ready for that kind of commitment.
📣 Still have questions?
Use the contact page. We read everything.
